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Funny quotes that make moments memorable.

The right funny quote always fits the occasion. Who doesn’t like a good laugh?

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Top funny quotes to use everywhere.

Whether you’re giving a card to someone or dreaming up the perfect poster, the right funny quote will make it a memorable gift for anyone who reads it and laughs. Humorous quotes about life and work help us chuckle our way out of stress and monotony.

Funny quotes often have more than one meaning, too. Read between the lines and find the perfect quote (and subtext) to make your next project more fun for you and everyone else.

Funny quotes about life.

Humorous quotes about life can lift us out of a funk and add a touch of lightness to our day. Some funny quotes about life dig into rather deep subjects, but they frame them in a way that all seems simple and fun. Funny life quotes make their way into posters and cards all the time because they apply to all of us.

Browse these funny quotes about life and find the one that hits home with you. A little life perspective can come in an eyebrow-raising laugh. The lighter side of life awaits on the other side of these funny sayings.

A good rule to remember for life is that when it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain.”
Graham Norton
Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.”
Albert Einstein
As you get older, three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two.”
Sir Norman Wisdom
Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.”
Groucho Marx
You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.”
George Burns
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence in society.”
Mark Twain

Funny friendship quotes.

There are lots of funny quotes that talk about friendship, making them perfect to give to a pal. Sometimes, the best funny quotes about friendship are the ones that poke fun at the sort of friends you have. Most of these quotes are perfectly suited for the inside of cards so they can be delivered to specific people.

Look at these quippy and memorable funny quotes about friends and pick the one that makes you think of someone special.

My friends tell me I have an intimacy problem. But they don’t really know me.”
Garry Shandling

Funny love quotes.

Funny love quotes have many subcategories. You’ll find funny quotes about lost love, funny quotes about marriage, funny quotes about dating, and much more. Picking the best funny quote about love requires taking a moment to consider your audience, especially since these quotes are regularly put in cards.

Select the right quote about love and guarantee a barrel full of laughs. This handpicked selection of love-related quips has a lot of subtext, so be sure to read between the lines for sneaky double meanings.

When you trip over love, it is easy to get up. But when you fall in love, it is impossible to stand again.”
Albert Einstein
If love is the answer, then could you rephrase the question?”
Lily Tomlin
You know you are in love when the two of you can go grocery shopping together.”
Woody Harrelson
Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.”
Albert Einstein
A happy marriage is a long conversation which always seems too short.”
Andre Marois
Some people care too much. I think it's called love.”
Winnie the Pooh
Love is being stupid together.”
Paul Valery
Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love.”
Charles M. Schulz
You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.”
Dr. Seuss
We're all a little weird. And life is a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall into mutually satisfying weirdness--and call it love--true love.”
Robert Fulghum
My husband and I fell in love at first sight. Maybe I should have taken a second look.”
Halley Reed (Mia Farrow), Crimes and Misdemeanors

Funny family quotes.

One of the best ways to show love in some families is with humor inspired by the common tropes of family relationships. There are certain topics that are so common that they’ve become easy topics for truly hilarious quotes.

Browse these funny family quotes and imagine which would hit the right notes for specific family members when the next reunion comes up. The great thing about family is how easy it is to tease them.

When your mother asks, ‘Do you want a piece of advice?’ it is a mere formality. It doesn’t matter if you answer yes or no. You’re going to get it anyway.”
Erma Bombeck
Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops.”
Mortimer Brewster (Cary Grant), Arsenic and Old Lace
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.”
George Burns
I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them.”
Phyllis Diller
I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.”
Rita Rudner
Never marry a man you wouldn’t want to be divorced from.”
Nora Ephron
I’d like to have a kid, but I’m not sure I’m ready to spend 10 years of my life constantly asking someone where his shoes are.”
Damien Fahey
I’m sure wherever my Dad is, he’s looking down on us. He’s not dead, just very condescending.”
Jack Whitehall
I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance: waiting for the bathroom.”
Bob Hope
From the ages of eight to 18, me and my family moved around a lot. Mostly we would just stretch, but occasionally one of us would actually get up to go to the fridge.”
Jarod Kintz
My most brilliant achievement was my ability to be able to persuade my wife to marry me.”
Winston Churchill

Funny work quotes.

Funny work quotes serve many purposes. A poster in a breakroom might poke fun at water cooler culture. A card given to a coworker might earn a laugh over a shared experience. A funny retirement quote might stretch across a banner at a party. There are times at work when laughter is all that can ease tension and add some fun back into the workday, too.

Funny quotes for work have some common themes that nearly anyone can relate to, including bosses, the weekend, and money. Take your pick of a funny work quote to lighten a lot of people’s loads.

I am a friend of the working man, and I would rather be his friend, than be one.”
Clarence Darrow
Here’s some advice: At a job interview, tell them you’re willing to give 110 percent. Unless the job is a statistician.”
Adam Gropman
The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.”
Oscar Wilde
No man goes before his time — unless his boss leaves early.”
Groucho Marx
People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.”
Winnie the Pooh
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow just as well.”
Mark Twain
If my boss knew how unproductive I am on Fridays, he wouldn’t want me here either.”
James Johnson
I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.”
Les Dawson

Funny motivational quotes.

Funny motivational quotes provide the best of two seemingly exclusive worlds: humor and feel-good motivation. Since humor is one of the best tools to make a message memorable, funny inspirational quotes can warm hearts and get people to keep going — but with a smile that sticks.

Wield a quote at the intersection of humor and motivation in a poster project, and wherever it’s displayed, it will brighten the day.

Every Friday, I like to high five myself for getting through another week on little more than caffeine, willpower, and inappropriate humor.”
Nanea Hoffman
I wake up every morning at nine and grab for the morning paper. Then I look at the obituary page. If my name is not on it, I get up.”
Benjamin Franklin
Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.”
Oscar Wilde
Spend some time this weekend on home improvement; improve your attitude toward your family.”
Bo Bennett
Today’s goals: Coffee and kindness. Maybe two coffees, and then kindness.”
Nanea Hoffman

Funny sarcastic quotes.

What is a funny sarcastic quote? If you crack open the dictionary, you’ll see that sarcasm tends to be more aggressive while facetiousness is the playful, friendly version of the same. There are moments where a little sarcasm goes a long way, and often they’re the moments when a bit of boiling water is exactly what drives the point home.

Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.”
Anonymous
Money cannot buy health, but I'd settle for a diamond-studded wheelchair.”
Dorothy Parker
People say, ‘But Betty, Facebook is a great way to connect with old friends.’ Well, at my age, if I want to connect with old friends I need a Ouija board.”
Betty White
Dear optimist, pessimist, and realist—while you guys were busy arguing about the glass of wine, I drank it! Sincerely, the opportunist!.”
Lori Greiner
I never forget a face—but in your case, I’ll be glad to make an exception.”
Groucho Marx
If people are upset because you’ve forgotten something, console them by letting them know you didn’t forget—you just weren’t remembering.”
Winnie the Pooh
My friends tell me I have an intimacy problem. But they don’t really know me.”
Garry Shandling

How to use funny quotes.

Funny quotes carry a lot more weight than it appears. The perfect funny quote can lighten the mood in the workplace, get a smile out of someone in a tough place, and make a bigger message much more memorable.

It’s important to use the right funny quotes, though. The first rule is to know your audience and how the funny quote will be delivered. Are you putting up a poster that to ring in laughs at the next family function? Are you giving a card to newlyweds?

The great thing about funny quotes is that they can each be tweaked. Change a word and make one your own. If it’s a famous quote, this twist makes for an even bigger impact when people think they know what’s coming... but something else sparks their laughter instead.

Here are some best practices when working with funny quotes:

  • Consider the source of a quote.
  • Learn about the context of certain quotes, too. This is especially true of funny movie quotes. Read the synopsis of a film to see who the character was who delivered the punchy line and why it was funny in the moment. For fans of those movies, the right funny movie quote will add a whole new layer of laughs.
  • When you do use any quote, it’s a good idea to double check who said it. Like an endless game of telephone across the internet, some quotes have become attributed to the wrong people.

Exercise: dial in delivery.

If you have a target audience who will see your funny quotes, picking the right quote is essential.

It’s also important to think about how the quote will be seen. Will it be broken into an intro and a punchline (like on the face and interior of a card)? Will it be blazed across a massive poster?

To dial in on the perfect quote, ask yourself: how do you want the audience to feel? You want them to laugh, but with what message lingering in the afterthought?

Drill down to the kind of humor you want to conjure, then find the best funny quote that fits it. If you’re unsure, run a few picks past an audience. See which one gets the biggest guffaw.

Adobe Express can help.

Adobe Express online editor has tons of free templates and quick and easy customization options to put your favorite funny quotes to work. If you want to play with funny quotes in cards, posters, or other creative projects, Adobe Express makes it as simple as picking a template and personalizing it, or making your own idea with easy-to-use tools. Whatever message you want to convey, Adobe Express brings it to life, no experience required.

Design with your quote