Funny text messages for your friends.

Nothing can brighten up your day like a text from a friend that leaves you laughing out loud. Choose a funny template to send to a friend, or personalize it with an inside joke or a funny meme you’ve both been loving.

• Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything. Just like your excuses for being late!

• I'm reading a book on anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down, much like our crazy group chats.

• You don't need a parachute to go skydiving. You need a parachute to go skydiving twice. Let's not test that theory, okay?

• I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won't stop sending me Kit-Kat ads. Your turn to talk to it.

• If we were on a sinking ship, and there was only one life vest... I would miss you so much.

• I'd take a nerf bullet for you, just not in the face. Where's your sense of adventure?

• Our friendship is like a fat cat... it keeps getting bigger and it's mostly asleep.

• You're not truly best friends until you've decided on an official handshake. Spoiler: It's just us awkwardly high-fiving.

• I'm pretty sure if you could make a career out of binge-watching series, we'd both be billionaires by now.

• Remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English. Or was it the other way around?

Funny text messages for your family.

Create a custom funny graphic to send in your family group chat, or send a personalized silly greeting on birthdays and holidays. Choose a template, then personalize with family photos or family jokes.

• Family meetings are basically just password recovery sessions for the WiFi.

• Home is where you can say anything you want because nobody listens to you anyway.

• I love how we don't need to say out loud that I'm your favorite child. The others suspect, but they know not to challenge it.

• If you can't remember who borrowed it, it was probably me. Just assume it's lost forever.

• Our family tree must be a cactus because everybody on it is a little prickly.

• Remember, as far as anyone knows, we're a nice, normal family. Keep up the act!

• They say you can't choose your family. If I could, I'd still pick you guys. I like a good sitcom.

• Dinner at our house is a silent auction. Whoever yells the highest gets the last piece of chicken.

• I'm convinced 'leftovers' is just a family code word for 'finders keepers'.

• Just a reminder that our family's safe word for 'this is getting awkward' is 'pineapple'.

Funny birthday text messages.

No better time to make someone smile and laugh than on their birthday. Craft a funny birthday greeting that your friends or family will want to look at over and over again. Personalize the joke or images in the message, and then send it to them via any printed or digital platform.

• Happy Birthday! You're one step closer to touching your toes to your back... because you're getting old!

• For your birthday, I got you a gift card to your favorite store: the grocery store. Party like it's aisle 5!

• Age is just a number, and yours is just really high. Happy Birthday, ancient one!

• Happy Birthday! Don't forget to iron that birthday suit.

• Another year older, but still looking sharp! Just like cheese, you're getting better with age... or smellier?

• Happy Birthday! I was going to make an old age joke, but I forgot it. Just like you're starting to forget things!

• You're not old, you're just... vintage! Happy classic birthday!

• Happy Birthday! Let's celebrate the anniversary of your clever escape from the womb.

• They say wisdom comes with age. You must be the wisest person I know! Happy Birthday!

• Happy Birthday! If you counted your age in dog years, you'd now be a teenager! Time to rebel?

More funny text messages.

• I'm multitasking: I can listen, ignore, and forget at the same time. What were we talking about?

• I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right. It's a subtle art.

• I don't run from my problems. I sit on my couch, play on my phone, and ignore them like all responsible adults.

• My wallet is like an onion. Opening it makes me cry.

• I'm not lazy. I'm on energy-saving mode. Please respect my environmental commitment.

• I'm not saying I'm Wonder Woman. I'm just saying no one has ever seen me and Wonder Woman in the same room.

• I tried to be normal once. Worst two minutes of my life.

• I'm not late. I'm just early for tomorrow.

• I don't need a hair stylist. My pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.

• I'm not addicted to my phone. It's just a very committed relationship.

Make them laugh with creativity on your side.

Create a one-of-a-kind funny greeting that your friends or family will love. Customize any funny template to your recipient or occasion, then share your message via text, email, or social media. There are endless creative opportunities to give someone a barrel of laughs.

Design with your message